October 8, 2013
IMHO: Junior Novelizations
The In My Honest Opinion Series (IMHO) is a series of posts for the purpose of declaring my opinion on certain subjects. My honest opinion. (Yes, thank you, Mary.) These posts will be my totally unbiased, totally unaltered-on-any-grounds opinion. Each and every one of my readers are entitled to the right to comment below with their own opinion and an argument, if they so desire. Let us begin.
You've all seen them. They're those over-simplified novelizations of movies that are coming out. These books are released as much as two months ahead of the movie and they're full of SPOILERS.
I always see them at Target because I go there the most, but they're probably at all major bookstores.
I find them super annoying. I mean, what's the point??? Do the publishers think that they're going to boost their ticket sales by telling everyone the ENTIRE plot of an upcoming movie?!
I usually just look at the pictures. Which is what I did earlier today, when my brother and I stopped at Target for some items. Anyway. We looked in the back for a certain CD full of songs from a certain blonde guy named Aaronjolras. (It wasn't there. *sad face*)
I turned a corner and there they were. Frozen books. Now, I did what I usually do – went for the junior novelization, straight to the middle, and was pleased to see some new pictures. Like always, no spoilers. I was happy.
However. Then, I made the mistake of looking at the toddler version for more pictures. Sadly, my gaze fell upon a certain word describing a certain picture.
My heart probably missed a few beats as it dropped to my shoes. 'Noooooo!!' I thought, utterly horrified at the mistake I'd made. 'I can't believe I read that!'
I'll end by saying this: DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, READ THOSE JUNIOR NOVELIZATIONS!!! Or even the coloring books or the toddler versions!!! If you want the plot of Frozen, or the plot of any upcoming movie, for that matter, to stay oblivious to you... Heed. My. Warning.
That is all.
Go see Frozen. If not for Idina Menzel, go see it for Santino Fontana. Cuz they're both awesome.
That is all.